The Life Aquatic

I hadn’t realized how much planning had gone into the Cania trip and how crazy it would get until I saw the posts. One video showed a group of people in Hawaiian shirts, grass skirts, and leis doing a quickly choreographed dance to the accompaniment of the Spice Girls. It was nutty, but it was also obvious that this was a group of people who were determined to have a wonderful time together. This was no weekend excursion either. This was to last for over a week. Though the exact arrival and departure of different families was staggered, with some arriving later and some having to leave sooner, for the most part everyone was there for the duration.

This was what I had landed in the middle of.

Tim, wearing a Beachcomber style straw hat and flowery shirt, came over to let me know it was time to head for the Dam and that I was welcome to ride with his family, which I did. The Craig boat (officially named “My Boat” in a nod to Greenbow Alabama’s most famously stupid son) was loaded with rafts and tubes and secured for travel. In addition to Tim, Khiara was officially cleared to drive the boat, as she had recently been granted a boating license. This would make for some terrifyingly exhilarating rides on tubes that had formerly seemed tranquil bastions of safety, but it would also make for some great pictures of people flying off of things in odd poses.

About fifteen minutes later the boat was being backed into the water by a capable Fiona. Nearby was a prominent sign that I took a picture of but didn’t actually take the time to read. This will be important later.

Cania Lake had an interesting story behind it. In 1982 The Three Moon Creek was dammed up to create this new body of water. The name “Cania” comes for the name of an abandoned mining town which now lies at the bottom of the lake. Along with the town, the associated cemetery would also soon be lost, so the headstones were relocated to a new spot overlooking the lake that would supplant the town. Evidence of a former gold mining hub can occasionally be discovered in the form of small flecks of gold flake that are sometimes found floating near the shore. In addition, the Shamrock Mine site was close by, where one could see some of the old gear that the miners used to use. As back stories go, it was a pretty good one.

A handy spot had been chosen for picking up and dropping off tubers and riders along the shore. Because large stones lined the water, a thick piece of heavy carpet was laid over them to smooth things out for bare feet. Above this launch area was a hill on which were situated bathrooms and barbecue grills for public use. From this vantage point, most of those not riding would lounge and watch for the rest of the afternoon while alternately eating, drinking, and conversing under lovely shade trees. The boat was equipped with several life vests and although there was room for several people on deck, there was usually just the driver and an additional person to help untangle tow ropes and do whatever else might need done. Behind the boat were towed a pair of inner tubes/rafts. People would climb on and then do their best to keep from falling off as they were dragged behind at speed. One held three people, the other just one. I was to be the center man on the larger of the two.

Khiara would be driving this time…and a chill of fear ran through the men. You see, while Tim had a fatherly mentality and was careful to make somewhat gradual turns in consideration of those he was towing, Khiara seemed to be out to make the ride as thrilling as possible for them. Like a lamb to the slaughter, I strapped on my vest and climbed onto my raft. Ian and Aaron were on either side of me, so at least I was somewhat braced onto the middle. We gave each other one last significant look as if to say goodbye, realizing that we might not all make it back. Then we were off.

For the most part the straight aways were not bad, though we would occasionally dip sideways as we rode over a wake. The real struggle was holding on as the boat made a turn. Then there were not only the wakes tipping you at sudden, jarring angles, but also the centrifugal force trying to pull you off. It reminded me of the scene in King Kong when Kong is twisting a log trying to tip off the hapless men trying to hold on. It was harrowing, exhilarating, terrifying, and actually just really, REALLY funny! One by one people would get flung off into the water and then the boat would slow and come around to collect them. But the more people fell off, the funnier it got. Though I somehow managed to hold on this time around, there would later be many times when I disappeared beneath the water and then emerged laughing as though I had just seen a video of what happened and was cracking up over it.

Back in Ohio, I live close to the city of Cleveland. Further down Lake Erie to the West is Cedar Point, Ohio. Although many people recognize Cedar Point as the place where J. F. Rutherford gave his historic speech back in 1922, for those living in the American Midwest it’s known as “The Amazement Park” and “The Roller Coaster Capital of the World”, as it has long been the site of a well known fun park. In fact the speech in 1922 was given at a spot where now stands the Breakers Hotel. On the walls of said hotel hang many historic pictures of moments from Cedar Point’s history, and acording to rumor, somewhere inside can be found a picture from that day back in 1922. I don’t know if that’s actually true, to be honest. But let’s get back to 2019.

In Ohio if we want a real thrill we’ll drive the hour to Sandusky and take a ride on the Top Thrill Dragster or the Maverick (or Woodstock’s Whirlybirds at Planet Snoopy if you’re not old enough for the others). But around here there’s really nothing like that. So if you want a white knuckle ride to get your blood pumping, it’s being dragged behind a boat. Seriously, it’s the same kind of thrill, but MUCH cheaper! And if tubing wasn’t your thing, then there was also wakeboarding, knee boarding, and waterskiing.

Khiara took us back to shore and the next group went out; this time it was all girls. Now the lake has a very odd shape and usually once a group went out it was hard to keep track of where they were much less be able see what was happening. So I ended up hanging around on the shore and trying out some of the other entertainments that were available. There were two kayaks as well as a paddle board. I did fine with both, although the paddle board was a bit tricky because of the waves from the boats in the lake. I was very glad to have stayed upright though! The next challenge would be knee boarding.

As we were waiting for the boat to return, Maisey noticed a Cane Toad crawling among the rocks at the water’s edge. Someone tossed a large rock at it and I quickly protested. But then Tim, once again very calmly and patiently, explained that the toads were destroying the ecosystem here. If the fish eat them or their tadpoles, they die. If the birds eat them, they die. If locals animals eat them, yup, they die. Even a person who handles one and then rubs his eye or wipes his mouth can get very sick, and ingesting one can even cause cardiac arrest within fifteen minutes. So yes, it’s very bad. In the end the only thing to do is kill them.

Now at first a toad may seem like a harmless little creature that couldn’t make much of an impact on a continent. But these toads are toxic. As a consequence, they have no natural predators so they are free to breed and spread. Some animals have learned to flip the toads over and eat their undersides so to avoid the toxins their skins secrete, but many other animals who try to consume them, or even just mouth them, are killed. Some of these include goannas, crocodiles, dingos, Red Bellied Black Snakes, and family dogs, just to name a few. According to Wikipedia, Cane Toads are considered pests because they:
►Poison pets and injure humans with their toxins.
►Poison native animals whose diet includes frogs, tadpoles, and frogs’ eggs.
►Eat large numbers of Honey Bees, creating a problem for bee keepers.
►Prey on native fauna.
►Compete for food with native animals such as skinks.
►May carry disease that can be transmitted to native frogs and fishes.

The animals were introduced to the country in the 1930s in an attempt to combat native Cane Beetles whose larvae were damaging the cane sugar crops that were so important to the farmers here. 100 toads were bred and then 3000 were released. The problem is that the toads made no impact whatsoever on the cane beetles because the larvae do their damage underground at the roots and the adult beetles live at the tops of the stalks, safely out of reach of the toads. Within fifty years the population had spiraled out of control and they have steadily expanded their range. Over time they have also adapted to their new environment, developing larger and longer legs to be able to cover greater distances more quickly. By 2019 they had reached the Northern border of New South Wales, having all but conquered Queensland.

Scary stuff.

Happily the boat returned about then to change the subject for us. My attempts at knee boarding turned out much as my attempts at water skiing had many years before, but at Khiara’s suggestion, defeat was turned into a kind of success with the intervention Mo Coight, who managed to use the opportunity to make another appearance. Firmly placing marks in the success category, on the other hand, were Mikey, Maisey, and Tim who managed spins, standing up on a knee board, and waterskiing respectively. Well done.

At one point Tuula asked if I would help her build a house for Simba and Nala, which I was happy to do. Between the two of us we managed to build a pretty sweet pad for them complete with ladders, walkways, couches, a swimming pool, garden, and television. Unfortunately Simba and Nala never turned up.

Of note also was a bright yellow boat named “The Bug” which sounded as if a throaty Chevy was driving across the lake. The reason for this turned out to be that the engine for this boat was indeed an eight cylinder car engine; in all likelihood an actual Chevy! It was very strange.

My last act before leaving the Lake was to man the single tube and be repeatedly run into by Tuula and two others people who managed to knock me off of my float time and again. My wipeouts felt quite spectacular, and at this point I mastered laughing and gasping for air at the same time. I likely also managed to unwittingly consume a good deal of lake water as well. This will be important later.

But I’ve done enough in terms of setup with this post, so I’ll talk to you again once we get back to camp and then we can spend some time unraveling a mystery together.